This is a short story I wrote in late 2006. I entered into a writing contest that was recommended to me by a friend. The jist of it was that each contestant was to take the 1st line of a published work of fiction (a list of sentences was provided), and create a short mystery story around it. I wrote this one in about an hour, and spent another hour doing revisions. It’s far from perfect (umm… probably the reason I didn’t win)- but, it’s at the very least, readable.
Can I be frank here? I could not read till the end because there were no paragraph breaks in between. The whole story was in two paragraphs (maybe its just the double spacing fooling my eyes). Your posts sound pretty interesting… but you need to subdivide your story into paragraphs.
Yes it is readable. Of course. Very interesting. Paragraphs please.
Hey what about the money?