I. HATE. SCALES.
For the past few years they’ve told me nothing but bad news. Occasionally, they’ll give some small ray of hope – only to snatch it back on the next visit. They’re intrinsically evil.
Every once in a while I’ll try to reason with the scale. I’ll say things like -
Listen – here’s what I’ll do – I’ll go to the gym all this week. I’ll even give up the sausage and eggs for breakfast on Tuesday, and Thursday.
(Monday’s don’t count because it’s a depressing day and I need something to cheer me up. Wednesdays don’t count because they’re a reward for surviving Monday & Tuesday – and Friday doesn’t count, well… because it’s Friday).
So inevitably I go into this bargain, believing that if I hold up my end, the scale will hold up its part.
SCALES. ARE. LIARS.
People like to say that the scale never lies. Well those people are liars as well. Scales are infamous liars !
I put a 10 lb dumbell on a scale once, and it told me it weighed 12.5 lbs. Now if that isn’t a brazen lie, then I don’t know what is! I mean, how am I expected to trust something that tells such obvious fiction !
Because there was a period of time when I bought into the rhetoric of the scale – I decided to take it’s advice and join Weight Watchers.
I don’t really have a problem with this organization (it’s worked for many people), but the results always seem to be short term, and I’m still trying to figure out where in their message is affirmations of healthy eating habits.
For instance - I went to a meeting where we sat around and discussed all of the “substitutes” we could find for the less than nutritous snacks that all got us joining Weight Watchers in the first place. I heard things like – “Try this new Netstle product, you can eat 20 of them and they only count for 1 point“, or “Try these fabulous chocolate thing-a-ma-bobs, you can eat like a 100 of them and they only count for 2 points“.
Correct me if I’m wrong here – Isn’t a MAJOR part of the weight gain issue MODERATION. Shouldn’t we be teaching the concept of moderation. I get that this chocolate thing-a-ma-bob only counts for 2 points – but Honey, you shouldn’t be eating a 100 of anything – that’s not being moderate.
And inevitably, people come off of Weight Watchers feeling good for having lost the pounds – but they’ve learned no lessons. So they put the weight back on.
With that said - the reason I failed at Weight Watchers was not as a result to that.
I. SADLY. HAVE. COMMITTMENT. ISSUES.
and….
When put in tempations path:
I. WILL. ALWAYS. CHOOSE. CREME BRULEE.
That, my friends, is why I have been a Weight Watchers flunky. No will power.
Thinking I could fix this issue overnight, I decided to join with a girlfriend of mine (Tina dear – you are a pearl – and to quote you, “the hottest woman on the planet“). Tina and I have an interesting dynamic. We both have this uncanny ability to influence the other for bad. Now, it’s not the catty, female – I don’t want you to suceed, so I’m going to sabotage - kind of influence. This is how it usually goes:
Me: Remind me - why are we doing this, again?
Tina: Because we’ve looked in the mirror.
Me: I’m hungry.
Tina: Me too.
Me: Lets blow this popscicle stand and go get deep fried sushi.
Tina: I’ll drive.
The problem here is that there is no one in this relationship to say – hey guys, bad idea. Deep fried sushi is like 1200 calories in one sitting. Think about your heart.
Had there been someone their to share that nugget of wisdom, we would have – backed over them with the car on the way to Mikado – but we would have had a serious discussion (after the sushi was consumed) about the evils of giving into temptation.
So now you know why Weight Watchers has me down in their book under “The Failures”. It’s a tragic tale – but it has a happy ending… I don’t know what it is yet – but I’m supremely optimistic that it’ll end with me losing like 300 lbs (total exaggeration for those of you that have no idea what I look like… seriously…I don’t need to lose 300 lbs).
Oh, by the way, those aren’t my feet in the picture. My ankles are much fatter…and browner.
Dont be so stuck about about your weight girl. Some people are just meant to be large. I AM TERRIBLY OVERWEIGHT and I wont budge an inch if that would evapourate ten pounds. I just love the way I am!
Be proud of yourselF!!!
Yeah!
I would LOVE to feel the relief that you feel. However, I’m not convinced I’m meant to be large. I am convinced that I need to change my eating habits, and spend some time off the couch (and probably the computer too). I had some blissful years up to my mid twenties, at a blissful 125 lbs. Now – I may never get BACK to 125 (which is sad, but understandable due to my age). I just need to get in the neighbourhood of 125 – like 15 blocks up, if you get my drift.
Hey, I have heard about this Tina. I think she may just be the hottest chick on the planet. It sounds like she is a great friend with nothing but the best intentions. Everyone should have a “Tina” in their life for some comic relief.
What was that we learned? “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” They need to hang with us on a weekend.
You are probably no where near my definition of fat. You were always a little stick anyway. It’s okay to endulge from time to time. But, just watch your portions. I’m also fighting the weightloss battle. I actually lost 30lbs last year. However, I have no will power, so I’ve gained it all back.
[...] if you’ve read my previous post, On Being A Weight Watchers Flunky, you know that I’m not the crowning example of physical fitness. But that aside, I had no [...]
This is really interesting. I am struggling with weight and chronicling on my blog at jeanadero.wordpress.com. I have now understood that I will be doing this for the rest of my life – of course it’s not easy, but the focus must be on health and not how to game the WW plan to lose weight.